[Sunday, October 12th. Time Unknown.] [When last we left our heroes, they had finally conquered the Test of Wisdom, and found a door. Which Horus promptly opened!] [As she does, you are all engulfed in pillars of light! A moment later, you reappear... in the middle of the same room.] [Well, no, not really. But man, that'd really be hilarious if you did, right?] [In fact, through the door is a beautiful, open, hilly plain, dotted with trees. The sky is blue, the air is crisp, and there's nary a painting, suit of armor, or rack of weapons to be seen.] [Also, the holographic AI is standing there, beckoning you to come forward to him atop a hill.] [Session Start!] * Horus glances around, then looks down at herself. Is she still in armor and such? [Yup.] * Horus lets out a heavy sigh as she finds that yes, she is, and gives her new fake-real wings a try, flapping them a few times and then taking to the air. She flies over to the AI. * Christian looks around as well. Then checks himselves out. Yep, still green. "No way but forward, huh?" * Christian makes his way up the hill. * Mizuki has regained her composure, cloak somewhat curled around her, flapping around her feet. She advances slowly, lyre in hand. "A much less... bothersome environment, if still fake." [Horus flies a bit unsteadily at first, but quickly finds it's much the same as her normal method of flying. Just flappier.] * Jacqueline glances down as well, and upon finding out she's still the same, she smiles an unnaturally toothsome smile and strides towards the AI. ["Welcome to the second test. As you may have gathered, this one is a bit different."] * Christian folds his arms. "So if we try to think it through this time, we get hit by pies?" [He points into the distance. From atop this hill, you can see a small village some ways away. "There, you shall be given your task. Succeed, and you shall be one step closer to your goal." He looks apologetically to Christian. "I'm not bad, I'm just programmed that way."] * Horus sighs. "Which test is this again?" The Test of Delegation. ["You shall see shortly." He frowns. "Wow, that sounded dickish. Why do I have to be so cryptic?"] Because your creator's a goddamned asshole. * Christian sighs. "Well. We might as well get started then." * Mizuki says, with a quiet chuckle, "The puzzles of the dead tend to be quite a bit more annoying. What are you going to do: kill them?" ["That is not an entirely inaccurate assessment."] No joking. Look at his fucking name. Anyway, let's get going. * Christian starts heading towards the village. Useless AI. * Horus takes off, now somewhat used to the new wings, and flies towards the village. * Jacqueline strides towards the village as well, marvelling now and again at the oddly heavy boot-prints she's leaving in her wake. * Mizuki just walks. She knows how to do it! After a bit of the walking she says, "I... would expect this to be Courage." [And you all start walking towards the village! It's a few miles away, but the scenery is pretty relaxing. Birds chirping, the occasional moose passing through, a babbling brook here and there...] [As you travel, you find the frustration and anger from the time in the Test of Wisdom start to melt away. Start, mind you, because that thing was fucking frustrating, but you're feeling a bit better.] * Mizuki , as she walks, starts to hum for a moment, before breaking out into a slow, extremely traditional song in Japanese. Her other hand goes to the lyre, but she barely plucks its strings. * Horus flaps above the group, but she can hear the song and offers a, "That's pretty," as they move along. Tell me, Mizuki, do you know anything from the Sex Pistols? [A couple of birds land on Mizuki's shoulders as she sings, and join in the harmony. As does a moose, which has a surprisingly good tenor voice.] Annnnd that's creepy. What'd ya expect? * Mizuki looks over at the bird a little oddly, before looking to Jackie. She takes a breath, says, "Not with lyrics," and then continues her soft singing. * Jacqueline rolls her eyes at the moose and is pretty unconcerned with the response; it was essentially an idle rib, after all. [The birds and moose stick around for about a mile. Eventually, though, the birds fly off, and the moose leaves when a nearby squirrel whistles to it.] [As you get closer to the village, things start to get a bit less idyllic. Random patches of ground and entire hills seem to have been blasted clear of vegetation and life, and every so often you see a few charred bones.] * Mizuki rubs the back of her head as her singing stops for a longer moment, then murmurs, "If I'd have known I was going to sing today, I'd have tried to memorize a few more songs." * Horus eyes. "This part needs different background music, yeah." [The closer you get to the village, the less green there is. The air grows staler, with a sulfurous tinge to it. That feeling of relaxation you mighta had a few minutes ago? Not so much anymore.] * Mizuki nods as she starts to hum something more like a western dirge. Her lips twitch in amusement a moment at a thought, and then it's back to normal. * Christian shakes his head slightly and rolls his shoulders as he walks, "Looks like motherfuckin' courage to *me* at least." Looks like a fuckin' dragon. Straight outa one of those fantasy books. Slay the dragon, marry the princess? That sorta shit? Hope you're up for it. Marriage takes a fuckton of courage. * Jacqueline stoops to scoop a virtual skull up in passing as she idly notes, "Well, she'd better be a looker. Good details; rather macabre, though." * Christian snorts. "Like I'd want some digital cutie by my bedside." Give me the real thing any day of the week. * Horus grins and manages to not make a crack about Internet porn. * Mizuki stops humming and murmurs, after Jackie picks up her skull, "Alas, poor Yorick." Good. I wasn't the only one thinking it. If it weren't so fuckin' annoying, I'd be more impressed. * Mizuki smiles faintly and replies, "It's a little hard to not. It's a little surprising how few famous works involve talking to skulls." [Over one last barren hill, you see the village! There are a few dozen wood-and-stone structures of varying sizes; the interior of the village seems to be relatively unscathed.] [All but Mizuki notice a pair of figures exit from the roof of one of the buildings and fly towards you. As they get closer, you can see that they're ~4 foot tall rabbits with butterfly wings. Glowing nimbii of energy surround their front paws, and sparkling dust trails them as they fly.] * Christian stares. "...okay, wasn't expectin' *that*." ... Nope. Figure they're friendly? [They stop and hover a bit outside the edge of the village, and eye you warily, talking softly between themselves.] * Horus flies over to the bunnies to figure that out. [The two break up their conversation as Horus approaches. "Are you... The Chosen Ones?"] * Jacqueline stares at the flying bunnies, and then looks sidelong towards Christian. "Just so you know, I believe this thing on my arm is a gun, and I am /quite/ ready to shoot them." Depends. What are the Chosen Ones chosen to do? * Horus refrains from the air quotes. Barely. ["They enter our village as welcome guests, as opposed to being rent asunder by our disturbingly adorable but nonetheless terrible magiks."] Works for me. ["Wonderful! Follow us, we shall take you to our leader." And off they flutter, towards one of the larger buildings in town.] * Christian nods to Jacqueline. "Need to hear 'em out first. Find out what the hell's goin' on." Yes, but really, the man who programmed all of this is a big enough ass that their turning on us is a realistic possibility. * Horus yells down, "They think we're the Chosen Ones and are takin' us to their leader!" Communication done, she heads after the adorable bunnies. Options, is all. * Mizuki walks after, saying, "The only real question is which of us has had their home town destroyed." Yeah. There's also the possibility that there's fuckin' hundreds of 'em and shootin' one will bring down the whole swarm. * Jacqueline walks behind Mizuki as she breezily says, "Well, it /is/ a test of courage..." * Christian brushes his upper lip. "Courage probably means facin' the leader. 'Sides. The guy *did* say we'd find out what our quest was when we got here." [Through the village you walk. As you pass by houses, doors crack open and window shades part, and adorable bunny faces peek out to watch you and murmur as you pass by. "Those are the Chosen Ones?" "I thought they'd be taller." "That green one is tall." "I'm not crazy about those furry boots, though. Ugg."] I ain't crazy 'bout 'em either, let me tell ya. [The murmuring continues. "That one is the red is actually kinda cute." "Yeah, really. "Fucking furlesses..."] [Finally, you get to the building. Your two guids open the door for you and step aside. As you enter, you see a relatively spartan room, aside from an array of weapons along the wall.] * Mizuki walks in as she is expected to! [In the center of the room sits the biggest damn rabbit any of you aside from Jacky has ever seen. It's over six feet tall standing upright on its hind legs, and bulky. It's wings are far smaller in proportion to its body that the two outside, and in addition to a variety of scars across its body, one of its arms is in a sling.] Hoppy, Warrior-King of the Lago Tribe, I presume. [It's also wearing a bowler hat and working it's way through a cigar. "Hey. Hope the others didn't creep you out too much."] * Horus eyes the huge fucking bunny and comments, "No more than you do. What's up?" ["I'm Thog, and for the moment I'm the leader of this village. You've come to help us? 'cause if so, we could fuckin' use it."] * Horus shrugs in a sure why not way and says, "Sure, why not." * Christian folds his arms again. "What with?" [He gestures with his good arm. "Our people... the Triyes... have been under attack by a dragon which, much to our previous leader's chagrin, we discovered was mostly immune to our brand of sickeningly cute magic. That was around when the dragon discovered that the former leader and his guards were rather tasty."] * Horus sidemurmurs to Christian, "KNEW it was a fuckin' dragon." * Christian snorts at Horus's comment but doesn't reply to the bunny. ["As the only one around here who can fight worth a damn, I've been doing my best to hold it off, but..." *looks down at himself* "... I ain't gonna last much longer. Thus the need for Chosen Ones."] * Mizuki nods and asks, "Where does it lie, so we can help?" ["I don't know, honestly. But our people have a sacred weapon that stores the accumulated wisdom and lore of our greastest leaders, warriors and mages throughout the generations." He gestures to a door at the far end of the room. "It dates back to a time when not all of the Triyes shat fairy dust and worshipped cuteness. Come with me, and we'll consult it."] * Horus can't think of anything to say to that but "Okay," as she's still going with the flow. * TheRedcoat sighs and shakes her head, and goes along. * Christian follows along as well. Quietly. If listening to these damned things isn't courageous, don't know what is. [Through the door is another fairly large room. Various murals adorn the walls, depicting apparent victories past, along with a variety of banners and other trophies. In the center of the room, on a large, intricately decorated stone pedestal, is a large, double-bladed battle axe.] * TheRedcoat eyes it with her eyes. [Thog steps forward into the room, motioning for you to follow. Shutting the door behind you, he walks up to the pedestal and places a paw upon the axe, whispering words in a musical-sounding language you don't understand.] [After a few moments, the axe begins to glow brightly, and floats up above the pedestal as a booming voice issues forth. "I AM THE LORE AXE. I SPEAK FOR THE TRIYES."] * Horus eyes the huge axe, but she doesn't say anything! Yet. ["YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONES. YOU SEEK KNOWLEDGE. ASK YOUR QUESTIONS."] * Jacqueline squints at the axe as she lowly wonders, "How familiarly compensating you are, lore axe." * Christian waits for the axe to share it's grand lore. * TheRedcoat can't, for once, think of any questions that aren't at least backhandedly sarcastic yet, and so just waits. * Mizuki repeats her question. "Where do we find the dragon we need to defeat?" ["TRAVEL WEST. FOLLOW THE STREAM TO THE ROCKS. FOLLOW THE ROCKS TO THE CAVE. FOLLOW THE CA- YOU GET THE IDEA."] Well. Does this dragon have any /weaknesses/? ["MASSIVE BODILY TRAUMA."] * Horus sighs. Unsurprisingly unhelpful axe on that front. "Okay. What's this dragon do? I mean, how's it tearing through people like this?" ...my, you're helpful ["IT IS IMMUNE TO OUR MAGIKS, AND WE NO LONGER HAVE ENOUGH SKILLED IN THE SIMPLE WAYS." A pause. "IT IS A BIG, ANGRY LIZARD WITH SHARP TEETH AND NASTY CLAWS. IT BREATHES FIRE."] Good enough for me. But does it regularly attack then? ["WHEN IT GETS HUNGRY."] When did this dragon first start attacking? Was there any particular catalyst? And it eats bunnies I'm guessing. ["MY PEOPLE ARE DELICIOUS."] * Jacqueline chuckles softly. "I /have/ been wondering how well Triyes fricasse would go." ["GO LIGHT ON THE GARLIC."] [Thog scowls, and removes his paw from the axe. It stops glowing, and lowers down from the pedestal. "Now you see why I don't consult it often."] Because it finds you delicious? I'm sure that's just /true/. * TheRedcoat suppresses a snerk. * Mizuki bows slightly. "We will take care of the problem." [Thog nods. "Much obliged."] ... How would it know you're delicious if you guys didn't eat each other at some point? ["Don't know, don't wanna know."] [And on that pleasant note, you all depart!] * Christian leaves in the direction of the west. Once out of earshot of the bunnies he adds "Okay, if the courage after takin' out the dragon *is* marrying a princess and it's one of those bunny things, I'm done. I'm fuckin' done, y'hear me?" [Your journey is fairly uneventful, and as the sun begins to set, your find yourself at the mouth of a cave nearly fifty feet high. The ground in front of it is scorched black, as is the stone inside, and a powerful sulfur smell nearly overwhelms you.] [Dare you continue on into the cave?] I... doubt marrying a holographic bunny would be a binding ceremony. Unless the consummation is what's required to get us out of here. [It is in California.] * Mizuki glances to The Redcoat and licks her lips nervously. "I severely doubt that to be the case." As a note, if it comes to that for each of us, I will retire from superheroing and live off of sparrows in the forest. It's fuckin' Potts-Chambers. Who the hell knows what's goin' on in that bastard's head? Who knows? They /could/ be fully functional. * TheRedcoat groans in fear and puts a hand to her head. "I don't really want to think about it." Ew. Double-plus-fucking ew. * Horus flies into the cave. She so dares! * Christian heads into the cave as well. * Mizuki is totally in with spelunking for glory. * TheRedcoat pulls up the half-mask and enters. * Jacqueline strides into the cave for victory! [You wander through a winding, twisting tunnel. As you move in deeper, it gets hotter and hotter, and the sulfur smell grows more noxious.] * Horus flies along, because there's plenty of room to fly, and glows with a bright, golden light so people can see. Hey look, paladins can do it too! [Finally, the tunnel opens out into a huge open section, covered in hills of gold and gems as far as the eye can see.] * Mizuki looks around cautiously as they advance, and then gold! * TheRedcoat walks and tries to think of of other things than "oh god, I'm walking into dragon farts." * TheRedcoat stops as she enters the open section. Stops stock-still. People after her may be bumping into her. That kinda thing. * TheRedcoat 's eyes widen. * Christian bumps into Redcoat. Oof, and then backs off and looks at her, then the surroundings. [A ruby approximately the size of a volleyball sits a few feet to Redcoat's right.] * Horus looks around for, well, the dragon. And makes the whole treasure hoard seem even brighter. * TheRedcoat is frozen! She tries not to look at the ruby, but it's practically pulling at the corner of her eye. ;-; [It's so shiny.] [Most of you don't see anything besides the huge mountains of loot, but Horus and Redcoat notice that coins and small gems seem to be gently sliding off the top of one of the hills in a rhythmic fashion.] * Horus blinks. And flies up (but not over) for a better look. [From that vantage point, Horus can see that the hill seems to be gently rising and falling.] * TheRedcoat , while trying desperately to look/not look at all of the loot, happens to see that! Well, if they're just *coming* to her like that...she moves towards it, eyes wide, lips parted, etc. etc. Uh. * Horus drops back towards the group. "Guys?" * Mizuki looks up at Horus. "Yes?" * Christian glancces Horus-ward. I'm pretty sure the dragon is sleeping under that pile of gold. * Horus points at the pile of gold. * TheRedcoat is still inching slowly towards said pile! * Mizuki nods and... grips her lyre. "Hopefully I will be able to do something of worth like... this." [A small emerald-and-sapphire encrusted goblet bounces down the hill and stops just in front of Redcoat.] * TheRedcoat 's eyes move to follow it and stay on it as it rests sweetly before her feet. [It's so gobletty.] * Christian watches Redcoat strangely. "What's she doin'?" Staring at the treasure. Are we gonna wake it up or what? * Mizuki replies, "I... perhaps she is being compelled to treasure, like I was compelled to sing." She nods slightly. "It would be best." * Jacqueline squints towards the subtly shifting coins as a little whirring noise behind her ear culminates in a slender arm snaking out, then unfolding into a gear-laden visor that rests before her eyes. "WEll, Christian, get to it, then." * Christian eyes Jackie for a second, and then draws his axe, deadpanning. "Gee. Thanks." [Suddenly, the top of the hill explodes up, and a veritable wave of loot surges towards the group! Horus is still in the air, and Mizuki and Jacky manage to get out of the way, but Christian and Redcoat are too distracted and get swept away, and find themselves partially buried!] * Horus flies higher because wtf and yells, "I think it's awake!" [Meantime, there's now a hundred foot long, forty foot tall, dark greenish-brown dragon where there was once a hill. And it don't look welcoming.] * TheRedcoat was too busy gawking at the goblet and is SWIMMING IN GOLD. She'd be embarrassed, but she also might have just gotten into double the shock. [Actually, Christian isn't buried! My bad.] * Jacqueline heaves a put upon sigh as she hops back to escape the wave. "Really. You /think/ it's awake." * Mizuki 's eyes widen and she just barely jumps out of the way, loot washing past her! [As the dragon snarls, a wave of fear and revulsion tugs at your brains. Most of you are able to fight it off, but Jacky and Christian begin to shiver visibly.] * Christian shakes a little bit as he looks up, waaaaay up, at the dragon after rolling to the side. "Jesus fuck, it's *huge*!" * TheRedcoat is too busy trying not to be overwhelmed with glee/lust at being surrounded by glittering awesomeness to be afraid or revolted! * Christian hefts his axe to the side and leaps up high in the air, making it to the dragon's head. He lets out a barbaric roar of RAGE and brings the axe crashing down on his head. The axe glows with a faint ethereal light as it comes down. * Jacqueline 's mouth is agape as she joins Christian in staring up towards the dragon with a bit of unnatural fright. "My God, it would almost be better if it were full of stars." [The dragon, either consumed with rage or not considering Christian a threat, gets its head knocked aside violently and the scales on its head dented somewhat by Christian's blow!] * Christian lands and breathes, making his way out of the dragon's easy reach. His shivering seems to have stilled a bit. * TheRedcoat is apparently snapped out of her daze not by the HUGE DRAGON, but by Christian's rageroar. She kind of shakily pulls out her trusty black...uh...mini-crossbow...and fires off a r--er, bolt--at the dragon! [The bolt chips a scale on the dragon's snout, but doesn't do much otherwise.] * Horus flies higher, almost to the ceiling. "C'mon, the size just makes it easier to hit!" With that, the difference between her outfit and Horus' so completely blurs as she seems to become the sun. Radiant light shines over her companions below. * Mizuki stands, looking towards the dragon. After a moment of confusion, she runs her fingers across her lyre, managing a pleasant melody which turns into a gust of wind carrying that same tune right towards the dragon's face. [The dragon actually slides back a bit as its claws scrape across the piles of treasure on the ground, but it seems otherwise unaffected.] * Jacqueline 's big glove thing whirrs softly before firing a multitude of the gears attached to it towards the dragon. They are all spinning quickly enough to potentially be cutting as they make their passes then return to their mount points. [The gears dig into the scales on the dragon's side, damaging them but not doing much to the tissue underneath.] [Meanwhile, the dragon rears up and lunges forward, swiping its claws at Christian and Mizuki!] * Mizuki tries to get out of the way, but the lack of flight must trip her up, and she stumbles, getting hit in the arm and lyre. The lyre goes spinning from her hands into a pile of gold as she falls to the ground. She yelps in a slightly deeper voice, "Ow! Dammit." * Christian goes flying back with the slam of the claws. His front is bleeding and has three claw streaks across it. "Fuckin' Christ!" [The dragon then whirls around, swinging a telephone-pole-thick tail up at Horus!] * Horus tries to fly out of the way, but she moves slower than expected due to the wacky real wings. A globe of holy light surrounds her but is unable to completely stop the dragon's tail, and she's slammed towards the ground. * Christian goes flying at the dragon, building up speed and draggin' his glowing axe across the dragon. He then follows up to get to the other side of it, finding a potential blind spot if he can. [Christian scrapes a line along the flank of the dragon. In some areas the scales hold up, but in others a little bit of blood seeps out.] * TheRedcoat takes off her hat and sends it flying at, oh, I don't know. THE DRAGON. At least the only thing different here is that the hat now has a feather! [The dragon hisses as the hat digs into its neck before it flies back to Redcoat's hand.] * Horus rights herself in the air and concentrates on hovering there... well, actually, she draws her sword and points it at the dragon. A beam of light forms around it and lances for the dragon. [The beam of light pierces into the dragon's side, leaving a scorched hole in its scales and some blackened flesh underneath.] * Mizuki groans as she slowly stands up, and she's missing an arm, sleeve hanging down... but it's not the arm she was just hit on. Her face looks different too, and her hair is no longer long. Also, the small black glasses are a bit odd. * Mizuki blinks a bit as she reorients herself, and then her dark eyes widen and she runs and dives for the lyre, hitting the pile of gold with a loud noise as she scrambles for it... and then a soft non-Horus flash of light as she is back to being herself, and the coins themselves rise up to attempt to smash into the dragon. [A torrent of coins pounds into the dragon's face, sending it reeling back a bit.] * Jacqueline 's gears all begin to spin in unison as she eyes the coins smacking into the dragon's face. A rather large stake slides out a hole atop the knuckles that wasn't there before, sparking with visible electricity as it is fired towards the dragon with an audible 'THOOM' and a few big puffs of steam. [The stake takes a chunk out of one of the dragon's legs, and it rears up and roars... and stays up on it's hind legs for a moment before it starts breathing fire all across the room!] * Horus takes the fire right in the self, and once again, it punches right through her light shield. "Holy shit!" * TheRedcoat is also flamb?ed, and looks QUITE UNHAPPY. * Jacqueline 's forcefield springs up briefly as she is treated to a big old bath of fire. Deep down, she is possibly wondering why her current form isn't affording her some kind of /resistance/. * Christian gets lit on fire. On the plus side, it probably cauterizes the earlier wound. On the minus side, FUCKIN' FIRE! He works on stamping out his boots and loincloth before they catch too much. Assuming the system was programmed realistically. * Mizuki stands on her pile of gold, a bit on fire! She weakly murmurs, as she wills the fire out with a woosh of her lyre, but not before it's clearly burned her. [Christian, Jacky and Redcoat find themselves shakes by the sheer force of that attack.] * TheRedcoat is indeed shaken, as this is the first she's actually felt pain from this place. * Christian freaks out again and growls with the barbaric rage, leaping high up in the air and landing on the dragon's back. He brings the axe crashing down right in the middle of its spine. [Christian takes a chunk out of the back of its neck! It roars in pain and tries to shake him off, but Christian manages to land safely.] * TheRedcoat tosses off another shot with the mini crossbow, her hand shaking a bit despite herself. [The arrow richochets off of the dragon's armored eyelid, and the head goes into the corner of its eye. Man, *that* sure pisses it off.] * Horus gains in height, trying to keep distance between herself and the rest of the group, as she fires another ray of light from her sword at the dragon. [The ray lances into the dragon's back (well, technically it's dorsal side, but whatever), burning a decent sized hole there as well.] * Mizuki pulls the remnants of the dragon's fire together, them all drifting on the breeze of her played song, before rushing in on it and covering it in its own flames. [The dragon gets a taste of its own medicine, but it doesn't do much more than singe the scales on its throat and front legs.] * Jacqueline is still sort of shaky and mentally reminding herself how very fabulous she looks right now as she manages to send more gears homing for the dragon's body; it doesn't require her to do very much but point and shoot, so that helps. [The five gears fly out in a series of arcs and dig into the dragon's body!] [The dragon, in response, unfurls it's massive wings, each three or four times the width of its body, and begins flapping them powerfully, whipping up powerful winds filled with coins, gems, and even larger treasures...] * TheRedcoat reacts with pain and anger. * Christian gets slammed up against the cave walls with the force of the winds and gets himself up, staggering a little as he grips his axe. "Why...you--" His teeth are gritted, especially his canines jutting out. * Jacqueline is under attack by a rain of precious valuables, and strangely it's less gratifying than she always imagined it would be. * Mizuki braces herself against the battering storm of treasure, a gem glancing off her forehead. She's bleeding some now, and doesn't look to like it much at all. * Horus is beaten repeatedly with the shiny treasury things, and the light around her dims considerably under the onslaught. She sinks near the ground. "Ow, fuck, OW." * Christian manages to leap across the dragon's front, axe beared and glowing, and lodges it in the wound he made before along its front. [Christian manages to slip his axe into the exposed area, and cuts deep into the dragon's flank, spraying burning blood all over him and the ground!] [Also, Christian's axe has now turned into a bear.] * TheRedcoat pops off a ca---minicrossbowbolt in the dragon's a--front. Maybe. [The bolt pierces into some exposed flesh, and more blood spills out!] * TheRedcoat also tossed the hat while you were distracted and not paying attention! Really. [The hat scrapes across some scales, damaging splitting a couple.] * Horus lets out a shout as she holds her shield up towards the dragon, and light spills from it and for the hole in its chest. [The dragon shifts slightly, and that beam of light glaces off of its scales harmlessly.] Fuck! * Mizuki licks her lips, then plays a different song, the angry winds the dragon whipped around being nothing like the soothing tunes, the very notes themselves seeming to lift everyone's spirits, wounds healing as they do so. * TheRedcoat takes a deep breath, and feels much better. "Thank you!" * Jacqueline 's gears scarecely haev time to come to rest on her arm before being fired again, this time trained on that wound that everyone seems so very fond of attacking. She breathes easily after they are gone, as well, thanks to the healing and the fading of the irrational fear. [The gears all converge into the gaping wound in the dragon's flank, and even more blood spurts out!] [The dragon rears up to its full height on its hind legs, wings extended, clutching at the wound. It holds that pose for several moments, roared thunderously... before nervously glancing left, then right, then clutching its chest and toppling over in perhaps the least convincing death any of you have ever seen.] * Christian huffs slightly, making sure the dragon's dead, then jams his axe-bear into the ground. "Fuckin'. TERRIBLE. Programming." ... Okay, is it actually dead, or is it going for an Oscar? ...reminds me of an americanski cartoon I saw once. * Mizuki whufs and rubs her hand over her forehead, touching her face before visibly relaxing and glancing to the group, who is thankfully all concerend with that dragon. [You all (aside from Christian) notice, from various points around the cave, five glowing rings made of emerald and jade rise out of the treasure and begin to float towards you.] * Jacqueline snatches one of the rings down as soon as it's near enough, muttering, "Really, what lazy work..." to herself. [If you don't reach out and grab them, the rings gently settle into your hands when they get close to you.] * TheRedcoat glances up and freezes again for a couple of seconds. She holds out a hand as if coaxing a small bird, but doesn't grab for one herself. * Horus backs away from the glowing ring instinctively, because seriously, she should be the only glowing thing here. "Whaaaat's going on." * Mizuki looks over at the ring coming towards her, hand opening to receive it. She then closes a hand around it and replies, quietly, "A... plot item?" [Suddenly, the voice of the AI appears. "Jacqueline Hyde. The Redcoat. Horus, Mizuki. Christian. You have all shown the ability to overcome great fear."] * Christian looks at the ring, then at the AI. * TheRedcoat stares at the pretty bauble. *-* ["Keep these rings as my gift to you for completing the Test of Courage. In blackest night, they will glow with brightest light. When they do, place the ring on your finger, hold it aloft, and speak these words..."] [A pause. "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, DO SOMETHING YOU STUPID GODDAMN RING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"] ... That's so fucking helpful. Alright. I have to ask. ...OR, we could purchase a Maglite at any local convenience store. * Horus eyes the ring that somehow wiggled its way on her finger. "This thing's fake anyway, innit?" Will that make it actually fuckin' do anything? * TheRedcoat doesn't seem inclined to let go of or stop looking at hers, though. * Jacqueline pinches the bridge of her nose for am oment before muttering, "Yes, probably." [Another pause. "This will activate the rings power. And no, these are not fake."] * Mizuki licks her lips. "Are we... supposed to do that now?" * Horus opens her mouth to ask how that even works, then thinks better of it and shuts it. * TheRedcoat strokes hers carefully. "No, I didn't think they were..." They're glowin'. But I don't think that's the brightest it'll get. [And suddently, the scene fades, and you find yourself in the room you were in when you first exited the port-o-potty, with the AI standing there.] [The rings are still there, but now glowing.] [And you're all back to normal, although Christian is still holding a bear.] [It licks his face.] * Christian blinks, looking at the bear, and then sets it down. * Mizuki lets out a sigh of relef as she smooths over her priestess's outfit. [The bear plops down at Christian's feet and dozes off.] [Meanwhile, the AI speaks up. "Congratulations. You have completed two of the three tests. All that remains is the Test of Power."] * Jacqueline sighs wistfully for the loss of her tail, but given the ring that's made the transition from digital to material, she has other distractions, like examining it. [A small pedestal appears in the center of the room, with a cloth covering something on the top of it. "The Test of Power..."] * TheRedcoat is happy about her normal appearance. But shiny pretty happy. [The AI pulls back the cloth, to reveal... a jar. "You must open this jar of pickles."] * Mizuki then runs her hand back over her hair as the ring ends up on her staff hand, disappearing, and replies, "Well, wh..." * Mizuki peers at that jar with no small amount of disbelief. * TheRedcoat finally looks up. "...what's the trick restriction?" * Horus looks around, then brings her hand up to her face to feel her mask. She lets out a sigh of relief. Then... er, looks at the AI. "Like, open it like normal?" ...alright, I don't think *any* of us were expectin' that. * TheRedcoat also slips a hand into her coat, which comes out ringless a second later. * Christian adjusts his bangles and coat and such. It's good to have normal skin and good looks again. ["Yes. This jar of pickles had frustrated the doctor for the better part of a year. He was hoping someone trying to break into his lab would open it for him, die horribly to his defense systems, and then he'd have delicious pickles."] * Mizuki puts her hand to her forehead. "Pickles are... not a rarity." * Horus shakes her head, then steps forward to open the stupid jar of pickles. This guy's sanity sounds like it fuckin' is though. ...wouldn't it make more sense to put this test *first*, then, so that he wouldn't risk people getting killed before they could open the jar? You would think that. But the doctor is a moron. [Horus opens the pickles! They smell rather good.] * Mizuki sighs and says, "Ya know, I always hated that 'smart means no sense' stereotype, but this guy..." ... The doctor was the biggest wuss in existence. Just sayin'. * Horus hands the jar back to the AI. And the lid. * Christian rubs his forehead. "With all the stupidity, I've almost forgot what we came here for in the first place..." Well, that's excellent. So, into the labs now? [The AI sighs. "Congratulations. You have proven your power, the wisdom to use it well, and the courage to use it nobly. You have been proven worthy to enter the laboratory of Dr. Potts-Chambers."] Magnificent. [And suddenly, you find yourselves standing in an enormous lab, easily the size of ten football fields, filled wall-to-wall with half-completed devices and esoteric instruments.] * Christian replies quietly to the group. "Y'know...I almost feel sorry for that AI..." * Jacqueline smooths her hands briskly down her front as she looks about, and then she idly inquires, "I imagine your programming will prevent me from stealing liberally?" [Innumberable small droids float to-and-fro, performing maintenance on the various devices, while larger droids patrol the grounds. "Please proceed to the center of the laboratory. You will find what you are seeking there."] * TheRedcoat now looks depressed. "I also assume that, like all other indoor zones in this benighted city, this is a no smoking zone." * Christian looks at Redcoat. "Probably. Hey. This ain't really my domain either. Y'wanna head out an' wait while Jackie takes this place apart?" [The AI nods at Jacky. "I will forward protocols to Sister Admin to allow you to requisition specific items, but yes. Any attempt to plunder the resources of this lab will be thwarted by self-aware robots designed to protect and maintain the devices without coveting them... the UNIX."] * Horus whistles lowly and comments, "Fucking huge. What'd he need all this space for?" She heads towards the center of the lab, as instructed. * Jacqueline rolls her eyes as she walks towards the center. "Well, I'll be making a list." Well, if we are supposed to take anything, I can help her transport items...also, it depends on whether we'd be allowed to get back in. * Mizuki replies, as she floats off, "Physical work often requires space." Not everyone in cities remembers this. Don't see why not if we got the rings, but I see your point. ["And no smoking. It would react poorly with the time distortion dampener."] * TheRedcoat sighs. * Christian narrows his eyes at the voice. "Yeah. I don't think that's a fuckin' brilliant idea..." Call it a hunch Tell me about it. * Christian smirks. "Can't. I'm a dumbass when it comes to this sorta shit." * Christian stretches. [You all walk towards the center of the lab, where you find a giant computer terminal, connected to what appears to be a huge, ornate port-o-potty. "Welcome to the... throne of Dr. Potts-Chambers scientific empire." The AI looks vaguely ashamed of itself.] ... Why a port-o-potty? I mean, yeah, I get the toilet thing, but why a fucking port-o-potty? ["Dr. Potts-Chambers had a sense of humor about the limitations of his particular power."] ["Now what is it that you've come here seeking?"] * Christian rubs his head. "This whole lab's gone to shit." * Horus snickers. * Jacqueline glares rather direly in Christian's direction at that particular joke. * Horus stops with the snickering. "Right." We're lookin' for information on the black hole bombs he made. Things are pretty fuckin' bad right now, and we need to make more. [The AI falls silent for a moment. "Processing... my records on that project are imcomplete, as the doctor did not have time to fully enter his notes into my database before his untimely demise, but I shall give you everything I have." The computer whirrs into action, and after a moment a small memory stick pops out into a trey with a soft *ding*.] * Horus picks it up. "Thanks. If we need to come back for more info, do we haveta go through those tests again?" * Christian looks at Jackie. "And if he says we do, can you reprogram it so we don't have to anyway?" ["No, no more tests."] * Jacqueline gestures broadly about as she says, "At least one of the tests is no longer existant; I would /hope/ that we would not need to go through them again." Oh thank the saints. Thank fuckin' god. [The AI smirks slightly. "Although you are always welcome to come back if you enjoyed the challenge."] * Mizuki says, body rigidly upright. "That's unlikely. We are quite busy." Yes. Very very busy. Is that all for now? We're done here? ["I figured as much. And yes, your exit will be back outside the lab."] Should we take an inventory or patch through a hole so that Sister Admin or Solaris can come in? Or whatever technological thing it is that you do so that other people can get here? * Mizuki smiles slightly over at The Redcoat. "I am sure they will work with that themselves. We would not want to open this to undesirables." [The AI shakes his head. "No, I will arrainge things with Sister Admin. Technically, she should have to pass the tests as well, but I believe there is enough wiggle room in my programming to allow her access based on your success."] Thank fucking God. Okay. We've gotta get this back to her, so... uh, enjoy the pickles? I don't think you can eat pickles. All right, good. Let's leave. ["No, but I can stick them in the washing machine. Lucky bastard..."] Or, well, I am leaving. I will see you all back at base. Think *we're* done. Though if we can pry away away Jackie...*shrugs* If she wants to stay, ain't my business. * Christian starts heading out with Redcoat. [You all head outside... where you see the port-o-potty elevator waiting for you.] ... Okay, one at a time. * TheRedcoat glares at it, somewhat halfheartedly. [The bear looks up, walks over to Christian, and nuzzles his side.] * Jacqueline glances sidelong towards Horus with a faint smirk. "A pity; are we certain about that?" * Mizuki replies, softly, "That would be for the best." * Christian points to the bear. "Okay, where did this fuckin' thing come from?" * Horus shrugs. She doesn't know. Anyone want it? Isn't it a hologram? Fuck if I know. *Feels* real. * TheRedcoat shrugs an I Don't Care shrug. "Well, they can give him a collar and give the washing machine a pet." They can call it Pickles. I don't care. I'm getting out of here. [And as a discussion of reality and bears raged, our heroes departed the lab. One by one. Seriously.] [Session End!]